Loneliness is just a feeling

by Sara Todorovic Juhl

Loneliness is just a feeling, but it can make us feel alone in the whole world.

We all know those days or nights when the feeling of loneliness swallows us whole. But the feeling is, after all, just a feeling and it has always existed. In one context or another, people throughout the generations have been characterized by loneliness.

What is it then? It is a feeling that one's social and emotional needs are not being met by the outside world, yet we have all experienced being lonely in a room full of other people.

Loneliness is a feeling of missing togetherness and contact, although the opportunity is often right in front of your nose. The feeling is therefore not grounded in reality, which is the funny and difficult thing about emotions – they cannot always be made tangible or justified.

You can be in a room full of all your friends, yet feel surrounded by your own loneliness. How can that ever make sense?

I remember my own sabbatical year, when I sat in the garden by myself and was struck by loneliness - I could hold it in longer. The end of high school had relentlessly pulled me away from my friends. Those around me had so slowly begun to start studies, otherwise they had their own work and then you disappear a little from each other's horizons.

My everyday life consisted of training, work and my boyfriend at the time, and the rest of the time I felt very alone.

It's strange to think back to that time now, as I have so many wonderful people around me, whom I see very often and feel closely connected to - but still it can hit me when I'm lying in bed after a long day with my friends and it sprouts: that insecure feeling of feeling unwanted alone.

In reality, it is not about something as trivial as being physically close to others. It's about the connection that lies beneath the surface, a human and unspoken desire to feel understood. It is often difficult to feel understood like that - can you be so weird, strange and have such unique thoughts that no one will be able to understand you? A feeling that no one will be able to know you and your deeper sides.

But think of it this way: when you're reading this, you're sure to recognize many of the feelings I've described. You've almost certainly had these feelings before; therefore we are already two who share something.

However, I can promise you that the two of us are not alone either. There is nothing unique about loneliness.

There is nothing so difficult to understand - and no one so difficult to know.

Loneliness is a burden that can become unimaginably difficult to bear when you are all alone.

But do we need to be alone with loneliness when there are so many of us who secretly share these feelings? Maybe it just requires a hello, a vulnerable honesty and a daring conversation?

Burdens weigh less when they are shared with others 💕

Love Sara

Read more from Sara on her blog here.